skymuffins | [Sept. 16/11] Raine's Room, Night

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[Sept. 16/11] Raine's Room, Night

After his talk with Sorrow's brother in the garden, Raine had retreated fairly quickly to his room. His cigarettes were soaked through, Sorrow was nowhere to be found, and his stone was going insane trying to force-feed him snippets, possibilities.

It was more than a little overwhelming. He'd sat down on the edge of his bed, sodden clothing and all, and put his head between his knees, trying to catch his breath. Trying not to feel so dizzy, at least. It wasn't working out so well for him. But, at least, so long as he was thinking about not asphyxiating to death or something, he wasn't paying much attention to the possibilities that were flitting through his mind.

Raine was going to consider that a win.

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And Raine, in turn, balled himself up a little more tightly under the blankets. She was still out there, so he was quite content to still be under here, where the only things he could see where the things that he wasn't seeing with his eyes.

And if he put all his focus into not letting his stone's power interact with hers, then maybe he wouldn't see too much about her.

"Maybe," he murmured, somewhat muffled by the pillow, "we could... take this a little bit at a time...?"

Being healed shouldn't be so tiring.

Cassidy hesitated, her stone urging her along with a tidal wave of energy that tugged at her senses. It felt good, to use her magic. Like she could do anything with her stone.

But she'd spent years training with it now and could listen to something other than her stone's urges and her own wants.

"Got a reason for that, Tappen?"

Did he have a reason? None that he'd like to share.

Probably none that she'd like to hear. But all the same, he was kind of slinking out from under his pillow, eyes squeezed shut as though he was terrified that just looking at her would trigger some sort of vision that he didn't want, still shaking, though it wasn't completely from the cold.

"I'm not looking," he murmured. "I swear to God I'm not looking. I don't want to. But it's reaching toward the power and I don't..."

Didn't... quite know what he was doing, enough to be able to hold back flashes.

Still didn't want to say that aloud.

She grit her teeth. Yeah, she could finish that sentence of his easily enough and no, she didn't want him looking at her when his power was out of whack.

Not his fault, Cassidy reminded herself sharply. You do not blame the patient for anything but their own stupidity.

And this wasn't that.

He was only a what-- 3rd year? Barely time to know anything about anything, him.

Her hand, held over the bed, trembled. Her power did not like being held in stasis for so long. Cassidy told it to shut up and deal.

"Tappen," she said, "quit moving and start breathing. Like meditation class. Breathe in, count to seven, breathe out, count to seven. Do it."

She didn't know precisely how his stone turned itself on and off but meditation tended to help nearly every gift. Cassidy could only hope she'd be lucky enough that it would work here.

Breathe. Breathe in. Breathe out. He wasn't going to take the time he needed in order to tell her that what she was telling him to do was exactly what he'd been trying to do before she showed up. She was trying to help. He could appreciate that.

In.

Out.

Shaking and trying to keep from breaking the exercise just so he could apologize at every little glimpse. He could tell her what she was going to have for supper next week Thursday. Knew what colour she'd be wearing tomorrow.

In. Out.

And then he broke, tired and cold and sick and frustrated, wrapping his arms around himself and shaking his head and just trying desperately to get a little more distance. Even if it meant scootching back on his bed away from her. He hadn't asked for this. He was freaking her out and he wouldn't want to be here with him either and she was just doing her job and she hadn't asked for this either and...

Her stone was shimmering with power, throwing light up against the wall in feathers of colours, most of it white but some blue and some, where the light bounced off her hair, bright red.

Cassidy felt like she was trying to stop an avalanche by holding a pebble still. Raine moved back, she moved back, one step, two steps, three steps, her hand still held out in front of her.

Her breathing now, was the steady in and out of measured meditation and she clung to that and to her discipline and her strength of will. Her magic was not going to control her, she would find a way to treat Tappen, this would turn out well.

When the glow of her stone subsided enough that the light on the walls was barely there, and she felt like she was going to burst with energy (there would be no sleeping tonight) Cassidy dropped her hand and swiftly reached with her other into a pocket of her grey work coat. Out came a foil and plastic packet of clear pills. On them, stamped exactly the same as the embroidery on her coat, were the letters H.A.H.

She ripped two of the pills off the packet and lobbed them at Raine.

"Swallow those."

Of course, there was no need for that. The moment they touched his tongue they would dissolve. They'd been designed that way.

Only three of the H.A.H. even had access to these pills.

Power suppressants were not items that were taken lightly in Thrones. Not even amongst the faculty or the H.A.H.

"They'll help."

Raine stared at them for a few seconds, which ticked into a few more seconds. He frowned. He had no idea what they were. No idea what they'd do to him. His power was offering him nothing at all, which...

And then he practically dove on the packet, tearing the foil over the pills with shaking hands and putting them into his mouth, trying not to look so desperate and failing miserably.

Either his power didn't want to see what those pills could do, or else it couldn't, and that was good enough for him. At first, it seemed to thrum angrily, trying to shove as much at him as it possibly could all at once, like a tidal wave of information so thick that he couldn't make sense of it at all.

And then, like someone turning the water on a faucet...

"Oh, god..."

He slumped forward, still shaking, exhausted, and ashamed.

But it was quiet.

Cassidy quietly returned the rest of the pills to her coat pocket as he stared at them and then moved not at all until he'd taken them and slumped over.

"If you tell anyone I gave you those, I'll feed your tongue to the crows," Cassidy said conversationally.

She wouldn't. Probably.

But it made for a good warning.

Raine glanced up at her with a look that seemed, all on its own, to say, 'You honestly think anyone would listen to me anyhow?'

And then looked back down at the sheets again, reaching a still shaking hand up to smooth his fingers through his drying hair.

"Thank you," he murmured, at any rate.

It was...

It hadn't been this blissfully silent since before he'd died. The stark contrast between this and every other waking moment made a knot form in his chest. Right. This was what being normal felt like.

"Sorry..."

"You'll get better at control," she replied, deliberately nonchalant. Cassidy would not think about what he could have seen if she hadn't given him the pills. Already she was mentally writing the report she'd have to give to the President due to her usage of them.

There'd been trouble, in the past, of people abusing them.

"Now," she continued briskly, "how about we make your body feel better now?"

Raine nodded again, a little more slowly and a little less desperately than he had been before.

Right. Healing. He'd been well on the verge to being bedridden for a few days, and now that he didn't have his stone throttling him in the brain, the extent of the damage done was starting to sink in.

He'd done quite the number...

"That would be... Thank you. I mean... Just..." His shoulders hitched a little in a tired, defeated shrug. "Thank you."

Two spots of colour appeared on her cheeks, as though she was vexed with him, and Cassidy ignored the thanks and again thanks.

She did not like that he felt the need to repeat himself that way. It made her uncomfortable, like she was itchy. This was just what she had to do. Nothing more.

"Alright," she said, holding her hand out over him. The stone hummed back to wakefulness. "Try not to recoil this time, boyo."

He just nodded. Nodded, and sat obediently, quietly marvelling at the silence. The future was just an invisible bundle of possibilities that he couldn't begin to guess at. The past was a series of events, all tied into one another, that played out in a sequence, one thing leading into the next.

Now would be the perfect time for him to study his history books.

His eyes stayed on his bedspread, open and unfocussed.

The quiet was like thunder.

"Good," Cassidy said and then her power broke over them like a wave. Rushing through her as though she was the thinnest of tissues and then out through her outstretched hand, held rock steady over Tappen's head.

It felt good--invigorating.

Like she could do it forever. Which was the particular danger of her stone. It gave energy but it did not make her limitless.

She rode the power, bending it to her will, and having it wash over Tappen. More, more, more, she thought and her stone responded, seeking out what was wrong and leaving behind healing energy. Goading his immune system into working harder and harder still.

The power made her giddy, under the rock-hard determination she wielded it with. Cassidy ignored that too.

He probably couldn't huddle any more deeply in his blankets if he wanted to. He was practically wound in knots, now, after all of his shuffling around. But... that was okay. Things had calmed down. He was feeling better. The H.A.H. girl didn't seem too horrified with him.

That was kind of like a win.

And so he sat, bundled up in bedsheet knots, waiting for her to finish, at peace with... with all of it.

This was okay. Right now, at least, things were okay.

He had no idea what he'd say when she finished. Maybe she'd just run out of the room. He was still Jasper, sight or no. It was... kind of the thing to do. She was just doing her job. He got that.

More and more and more and then there was nothing left to heal, except that which would require rest and food and liquids. He would tire easily for the next few days.

With a lot of regret, Cassidy tugged her power back to her, chivying it towards her stone and shutting down the conduit between them. Energy made her jittery, like she'd swallowed a pot of coffee in one go and it was hitting her bloodstream all at once.

Her stone flickered, humming in her head, then went dark and cool. She dropped her hand and took a deep breath.

"You'll have to take it easy for the next few days," she said, like she'd done nothing more exciting than taking the trash out. "Stay out of the rain."

Raine nodded again, not quite able to look up. She'd turn and walk out of the room either way. But at least if he didn't look up, he wouldn't have to see her leave, now that her duty was done.

"Shouldn't be a problem," he murmured. "I feel like I've been made to run laps around the graveyard."

Literally, figuratively. His soul had been scraped raw today.

And then, more quietly...

"The... I mean, how long will those..."

The pills. How much silence would he get?

She stared at the top of his head for a long moment.

No, it hadn't been a kindness to give him the pills. Perhaps it would have been better to just have left him but there had been no way she could do that.

"Twenty four hours," she said. "I'll inform the faculty that you're out sick and not to expect you in class."

"Thank you," he said again. He'd said it too many times already tonight. But what else was there to be said?

Twenty-four hours. A day.

Maybe he'd catch up on his reading.

Maybe he'd watch a movie or something.

"I'm sorry to have been so much trouble tonight."

Maybe he'd just sleep it off, and regret the missed opportunities later. He was tired.

"I've had worse," she said very dryly. "Sleep."

She really didn't have anything else to say as she swept towards the door. Cassidy had a list of things to be done tonight. A report for the President, a discussion with Leith, finishing up her shift at the infirmary, double checking on that firstie who'd caused her to be sent here...

Cassidy paused at the door and tossed two words over her shoulder. "You're welcome," she said and was gone.

The door swung shut behind her.

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[Sept. 16/11] Raine's Room, Night

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